While reviewing and assessing recorded videos for a client, we found the distinction between speaking and talking, although very subtle, makes a significant difference.

…for the sake of connecting more deeply, avoid speaking “at” and instead talk “with”…

To be a good speaker with presence you need to really talk.
Talking by definition has a connection with your audience. Having a talk with someone is a two-way communication.

We are committed to the connection – equipping clients with the skills and details of empowered interconnectedness to more effectively show up and communicate as our very authentic selves.

“Let’s speak about that.” “May I speak with you?” “I’m going to be speaking tomorrow.”

Doesn’t it feel like that is leaving out the other – like we will be the recipients of information without the ability to engage, respond, share info or dialogue?

“Let’s talk about that.” “May I talk with you?” “I’m going to be talking tomorrow.”

Now we exist.  Now we can talk.

What’s different?

Well one thing is Presence — and Presence is perhaps counter-intuitively, built on a foundation of openness and vulnerability.

When we are present we are open and available for the other half of the dialogue.  Even if you are giving a so-called “speech”, when you are present people feel connected, seen and heard – even if they don’t say anything.

In a conversation, if you are not present, you may be simply speaking.

Herein lies the power:

Presence, stage presence, executive presence all require a willingness to step into open vulnerability to be authentic.  Without the vulnerability that acknowledges the other and lets you be seen, the assumed presence dissolves, like a mist to reveal a solid wall.  You have shut others out.  Be brave enough to show up and talk – then your authentic self can be there, with all your flaws and fabulousness.

So, can we talk?

-written by Hilary Blair